Our Australia Day festivity this year was a BBQ at Sarah and Duncan's house. It was their very first AusDay and we celebrated in style. I think we managed to accomplish all the necessary Australia Day duties. We BBQed; we listened to Triple J's hottest 100; we ate sausages, lamingtons, violet crumbles, fantales and timtams; and most importantly we got rip-roaringly drunk. (photos)

(If we had comments, Sarah would point out that it was not her first Australia Day as she was born here and lived here for the first few years of her life. So maybe I should qualify that with, the first Australia Day they can both remember. But then again, with the amount that Duncan had to drink, I'm not sure that's true either.)

Sadly, I was not a very proud Australian this year. I've recently finished reading Not Happy, John! by Margo Kingston and... I'm not happy John! I'm ashamed of our Government and their dodgy dealings and lack of respect for the Australian people. In 2000, the Sydney Olympics were on and we were all fiercely proud to be Australian. Fosters released a commercial which explained what it meant to be Australian. I think that commercial needs a few alterations for 2005.

G'day... uh, I don't have a kangaroo for a pet I don't wrestle with crocodiles (because they are all extinct from global warming because we won't sign the Kyoto protocol), and I don't wear a cork hat. I'd fight wars, but never start wars (but we do go to war at the drop hat to look for imaginary weapons of mass destruction). I would rather like peace (except when we're looking for weapons of mass destruction). I can wear my country's flag with pride (not anymore!). I am a rock. I am the ocean. I am the island continent. My brothers are the Smith's, the Wilson's, The Santarilli's, The Vikosky's, The Wong's and the Jagamaroe's (except when they're looking for refuge within Australia. Then we lock them up and throw away the key or send them back to the volatile and dangerous country they were escaping from). I play football, without a helmet. I LIKE betroot on my hamburger. I ride in the FRONTSEAT of a taxi. I believe this is a PRAWN not a SHRIMP. I believe the world is round and DOWN UNDER is ON TOP. I believe Australia is the best address on earth, and Australians, brew the BEST BEER on EARTH. Cheers.